Speech „Cow (i)´s shit?!

Wir mussten letztens in Englisch eine Rede zu einem selbstgewählten Thema schreiben. Einzige Bedienung war, dass es etwas mit der Umwelt zu tun haben muss. So kam ich durch einen lieben Bekannten (danke Bernd :)) auf das Thema „Methanausstoß der Kühe verringern“ – oder vereinfacht gesagt: Kühe am pupsen und rülpsen hindern, da dies der Umwelt nicht gut tut. Auf Wunsch werde ich die Rede natürlich auch noch übersetzen 🙂


Ladies and gentlemen,

I am very honoured to be here, so welcome! Thanks for invitation.

Today I would like to talk about the danger of cows. Yes, you´ve heard right. Cows are very dangerous. They are like a zombie invasion for our climate. As you may know, there are a lot of them in our daily life. Exactly there are 1.5 billion cows, more cows than people in Africa – just imagine! And they are getting more and more!

But why they are so dangerous? Every people, and every animal has some natural needs. So they must eat, and they must digest, and they must shit. It´s very natural, but cow´s fart and shit is really not good. Because by every fart they produce methane. And this is horrible for our environment. Now you could ask, because methane is a very natural product, finding in natural gas and other things. But there are so many cows, and every single cow farts every 40 seconds. This are 3600 farts, and 500 kg methane per cow –  a day! This is too much!

Cause of methane our climate changes 25 times faster than with carbon dioxide! The Earth is getting warmer and warmer. And cows have a very important role in this change. In 2025 there will be 70% more methane in our air than now. Our climate will change because of cow’s shit.

Let´s try to train the climate killers. Some explorer wants to stop cow´s fart. The cows get some plants, which clog the butt. They fart just 3 times in an hour. But this is not very good for the animals, it hurts, they feel sick and can die.

So, what can WE do?  Right, don´t search problems in other, just do something!

There are some medicaments which cows could eat. After, they won´t fart so much methane. But is THIS the right way? It’s too difficult and ineffective, because just some rich farmers and concerns would do this. These pills are very expensive and it won´t work in our society.

So we have to find other possibilities. For example, we could heat with methane, use it for our daily life. If every city had some cows it would be warm. And it is good for our environment! Because just the carbon dioxide, methan stored before, would reach!  Imagine you could tell your friends: “I am heating with cow shit.”

 This is just amazing! Everybody would like to have it.

But this is just one of the boring projects. I would like to show you the next point.

What do you think about the idea farmers cooperating with balloon flyers? They could use the methane for their balloons. It´s a lighter gas than air, so it can transport many people on their balloon- flight.

Also we can use it for our daily transport. So, methane can be fuel for cars, busses and trains. It´s a very strong gas, so our cars would have a very good power. Also planes can fly with methane. Today it is still a bit difficult but in some days, it could be a new challenge for our lifestyle.

You think it´s not possible? Imagine methane in our food. Yes, I know it´s toxic, but we can change it, so it is getting vinegar, vodka and more. You could eat cow´s shit and fart. It´s strange, but in our modern lifestyle it will have a chance!

And last but not least: One of the easiest ways. Just eat less cow meat. Yes, cows and bovines are very delicious. But there are other options, being better for our future. You don´t have to stop eating your beef and meat, just try to eat chicken, rabbit and other meat.

If there wouldn´t be so much demand, farmers wouldn´t have so many cows.

Don´t change life completely. Just try to find a way, for a better style. Think about the idea to eat cows fart, to heat with, or to fly with a methane plane. Not just for you, also for your children and their children´s life. Talk about the theme with friends and the world.

Come out of the comfort zone. Change our lazy society. One day, there will be no tomorrow. There will be just a now. And now is sometimes too late.

I believe we can change the world! I believe, we can stop the climate change! I believe in our research, our technical skills and our braveness. And I believe in you!



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